Sometimes time seems to be standing still, I can't quite find enough to do to make it go faster. Camerons birthday is this week, hopefully we will make it through this one and then only have 4 more "firsts". We will cross that bridge when it gets here. I made one of Jim's favorites for dinner last night. Chicken fried steak and fried potatos, I told Beau and Zac that we should take some out to the cemetary when we were done, but they weren't into that ida that much. I guess they just don't understand how much Jim would have loved it. Oh well, maybe next time. We will be doing the cooking for a cause again this year. Hopefully it turns out as well as Jim's did. (fingers crossed) Please continue to pray for my children guidance is what I ask you to pray for them. Well off to work again more later..

So I went to the grief meeting, now I am not so sure that I am ready for that. I will give it one more try and see if I feel better about it after this week. We got a present Sunday, several months ago Jim had lost his wedding ring from losing so much weight. We really hadn't much time to look for it with everything going on and happening so fast. The week before he passed away, I went and bought him a new one, which I had planned on doing any way, because I wanted to get him one that matched mine. As I was getting ready for church on Sunday I was sitting in my bathroom thinking, man I really need to clean out from under my bed I will probably find Jim's ring under there. What made me think of it was one of his shoe's was there and I could see it. About 3 minutes later Zac came running upstairs and was like mom guess what I just found? Low and behold in the hall way by Cameron's bedroom door Jim's ring was there on top of the carpet. Amazing is all I can say. Just wanted to share my little ray of sunshine with you all. :)

Today was a little hard, it was the first time in about 14 years that I have not been able to celebrate my birthday with Jim. Beau cooked dinner for us this evening, my parents came over for Zac's football game and we all went out for lunch together. My heart aches for my children everytime I look at them I see a little bit of Jim in each of them. Sometimes I just don't know how we are going to make it through the next day but we do. We went to church last Sunday it was the first time we had been since Jim left us. Needless to say I think it was one of the hardest things for me. I cried because all I could think about was all the times we had sat there as a family. I still feel like this is just a horrible dream that I can't wake up from, but when I do everything is going to be back to normal. I don't know if this is my way with dealing or if it is a part of my grieving process. I am going to go to a "group" meeting Thursday night for grief support. One of my friends from work is going to be going with me. She has been before and said that it helped her alot. I know I don't get on here much never really did. I don't even know if anybody is still reading. I do get on here though when I need to let my feelings out. It helps to write everything down. Well I am going to try to get some sleep....good luck with that. It doesn't always come to me oh well one day it will.

You know people have told me that it gets easier as time goes on. But I just am having a hard time seeing this. So I have to ask myself have the people that say this ever been through what my family and myself are going through? It has been 4 weeks today since I lost one of the most important things in my life. Sometimes I just don't know if my family and my self are coping well or even if we are coping at all. Thank you all for your kind words and continued prayers it means so much. I sometimes feel like we are just living a dream and we are all going to wake up in the morning and everything is going to be back to normal. It has been easier being back at work, but sometimes I just kind of sit there and feel like I am on the outside looking in. I do belive that my kids and myself have found some comfort in leaving messages to Jim on his facebook.

Gone but not Forgotten

I want to start out by saying Thank you to everyone one for everything you have done over the last few months. Jim loved each and everyone of you. As many of you know Jim left us to go home on Friday August 20th. He put up a good fight until the very end. He is loved and will be missed by all. Services will be Monday August 23rd at the 1st Babtist Church in Guymon at 2pm. Once again thank you for everything you have done for Jim.
Love
Kim, Beau, Cameron, Lauren, Zac, & Madelyn

Thankful

Today I am thankful for all of our friends and family, with out you all I am not sure we would be were we are today. Thanks for my brother in law Jim's brother Frank for coming down this weekend and sitting with Jim while I worked today. Big Thanks to my sister in law Judy Jim's sister who sits with him on a daily basis taking away from her own things. You have been such a big help with everything and you don't even know how much we appreciate it. Lauren has also been staying with Jim during the day when he is home and I appreciate that as well, I am sure that Jim is enjoying spending that time with his one and only baby girl. John my other brother in law one of Jim's other many brothers is also a big help with the restaurant and keeping on top of things there as well as coming and getting Zac and letting him swim at his house. While Bill was here he was a great help, trimming all of our trees and making sure the yard and everything was picked up. Also to Dondie my best friend thanks for everything you do, thanks for sitting with Jim this afternoon while I worked and for being our "support" group. My whole family loves each and everyone of you and hopefully we have not left anybody out. I do ask that you please continue to pray for Kaci Ronne as the news they recently received was not what they wanted to hear. If I have left anyone out of the thanks, I really didn't mean too, it is late and I am getting tired. We appreciate everything that everyone has done. God bless you all. I didn't mean to write so much I just had a lot of thank you's to do. Love you all.

Jim, Kim, Beau, Cameron, Lauren, Zac & Madelyn

Jim is still in the hospital in Guymon hopefully they will keep him here until the pnemonia and kidney infection is cleared up totally. Thank you to all of our friends and family for the continous thoughts and prayers. Also big thanks to my fellow employees as well as our church family for all of the meals that you have prepared, you don't even begin to know how much that has helped. As soon as we know something more, I will post, sorry that I have not posted as much lately.

Jim went back to the Guymon hospital today. He has pneumonia again and a kidney infection.

Jim came home from the hospital today. He is in a hospital bed in the house, and he is glad to be back home! He left after being in the hospital for over a week with pneumonia. He went home wearing his OU hat.

Amarillo

We went to Amarillo today to meet with a doctor at Harrington Cancer Center. They said that Jim will possibly do some radiation and chemo. They scheduled him for a PET scan for tomorrow, so once again we will be on the road. Jim had mentioned a PET scan several times before but it didn't seem like anybody was listening. With this type of scan they can see what exactly we are dealing with and hopefully come up with a game plan. They did go ahead and fit Jim with a mask today for radiation, so hopefully in the next couple of days we will know something.

Some News

Well, we finally heard something. Jim has an appointment ---consultation in Amarillo on June 7th. From there we are not sure what is going to happen, possibly go over options. We would like to thank PTCI for the silent auction that they are doing on Monday. It is so great to work for a wonderful company.

No News

Just wanted to let you know, that we are still waiting to hear from all the doctors. OKC is still talking to Amarillo to see what treatments are available. Guymon is a great place to live, and raise your family. Such a caring community and they let you know that they are here for you. People show love and support in so many ways. As soon as we know more, I will let you know. Thanks for all you do everyone everyday.
Jim & Kim

Home Sweet Home

Jim was released from the hospital yesterday, we stayed the night in OKC last night and then headed home this morning. It is so good to be home. We want to thank everyone for your phone calls, thoughts and prayers they were all greatly appreciated. We also want to thank all of our family for their support as well. We love you all. Once again thanks for everything you do, and God bless.

Gonna turn a mountain into a mole hill

News was not what we really wanted today. This mountain will soon be a mole hill. Not sure what to say really, for me that is bad because I am never one for a loss of words. When it rains it pours. This has not been the best week for anything. Could we please just wake up in the morning and it be Monday again? As most of you have probably heard the news was not the greatest, but Jim is a fighter and we will make it through this. They found a tumor in his left cheek (the original location) it is pretty good sized, and wrapped up in the muscle with it's location the Dr. doesn't think he could take care of it with a surgery. Our next step will probably be some type of chemo. That is all we really know right now. Except for the fact that God still does work miracles, and I am a firm believer that we are still going to see a miracle. For now that is all I have. Thanks for all of the prayers and God bless.

OKC

We are leaving for OKC this afternoon for Jim's surgery. Please keep us in your prayers. I really believe that it is an infection in his mouth and am praying that, tomorrow that will be the news that the doctors deliver to us. God is awesome, and will bring us through this. I will let you know as soon as we know something. Thanks for everything everyone.

Cookin for a Cause

We would like to thank everyone for coming out for Cookin for a Cause, WOW is all we can say what a turn out. Great fun, food and fellowship. I wasn't able to get any pictures cause wouldn't you know it my battery on my camera died right about that time. Modern day technology what did we do before things like this? We don't have a total amount that we raised yet but as soon as we do we will let you know. Where is but in Guymon OK, can a slab of ribs be purchased 5 times over the first time for over $200? Looking forward to next year!!

Cookin for a Cause

Just wanted to remind everyone about this Saturday. Gonna be here all day long stop by and say hi. It should be a day full of fun, food, and fellowship. Everything is going for a good cause as well. All you need to do is bring yourself and your chair if you want to sit. Parking will be at the old Sonic lot or the church across the street parking lot. T-shirts are in going fast though, $10.00 each.

Surgery

Just to let you know Jim will be having surgery on Wednesday May 5th in OKC at the OU Medical Center Prebyterian Tower. His surgery is scheduled to start at 11:30 a.m. This is an exploratory surgery on his mouth so that they can see if they can find out what is going on inside there. We will be leaving Guymon on Tuesday around noon, and as soon as we know something we will let someone know. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.
Jim & Kim & family

The Jim Taylor Family